Ive recently discovered that writing a post in my blog is strangely therapeutic..it's a simple medium to express my feelings whenever i cant find anyone to share them with..now don't get me wrong here, i'm perfectly happy and comfortable with my friends and all..it's just that sometimes you wanna say something but quite sure that other people will take the time or energy to actually hear you out..Something happened yesterday that made me questioned a very important decision i made in my life and that's very new to me...All through the years,i have never wondered back once I made a decision..I totally believe that I have chosen the best alternative and I shouldnt waste my energy thinking the outcome if i chose differently..I got my stats test results yesterday and let's just say,the mark was very demotivating.full stop.Then it hit me,"What am I doing here?""Why do I insist that I can succeed in doing Mathematics when my passion lies elsewhere?""Why do I endure it when I know that I'll probably do a whole lot better in Economics or Finance in Malaysia?""Have I made the wrong decision choosing this path?"..I stayed up late studying economics last night, trying to distract myself from answering these crucial questions...because i'm scared..i'm horrified..that if I do let myself dwell into them,im gonna arrive at a very undesirable conclusion.."Ive screwed up my life"....then a miracle happened,(not a BIG out-of-the-norm occurence tho)..at 10.28pm,17th September 2008..I received this message from Kak Fadhi..a simple quote..THAT very thing managed to answer ALL the questions that I tried avoiding earlier..It goes something like this:

From Shuaib R.A. he once heard Prophet Muhammad SAW said
"It is an UNBELIEVABLE phenomenon for those who with strong faith as every single thing is good for him/her. Others wont be able to experience such blessing. When he/she receives a good news or achieve happiness, they are grateful because they know that the very thing is the best for them. When he/she stumbles upon sadness or grief,they are patient because they know that that very thing is ALSO the best for them."(HR Muslim)

At that moment, I realized that I just have to believe that God has this grand plan for me, that's why I end up here...I told my bestfriend about my doubts and what he said was exactly what I needed to hear.."No one ever gains from winning,it's losing that makes the man but the trick is to not make losing a habit..Everyone fails but not everyone gives up"..

So,on 18th September 2008,today,Im making a promise to myself: Im rising to the challenge and Im not gonna let a single bump in the road steer me away from my destination.Insyaallah.

Thank you soo much Kak Fadhi.
Thank you soo much Dear.